To do: Determine your pregnancy medical preferences
That person you see once a year for a pap smear is probably a lovely person. But when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth, your needs and wants may have changed - and you’re probably not 22 anymore, or whatever age it was when you started to see your current doctor. Or, maybe you’ve moved and need to find a new practice anyway, or your doctor is retiring, or no longer delivers babies, or has decided to close their practice when you’re 32 weeks pregnant (true story).
Regardless, this is the time to take stock of what you’re looking for when it comes to how you want to be treated over the next several months, and what matters to you in the person who will be on the receiving end! Here are some questions to get you going - and remember, a doctor or midwife is a service provider and you are the client - so hold them to the same standard you hold other people to in your life. If you wouldn’t want your hair stylist trying to convince you to get bangs, would you want your doctor to try to convince you of something you’re not sure of? Just food for thought!
Are you high risk?
Are you high maintenance? I mean this in the best possible way, but if you’re someone who has very high expectations and requires a very high-touch experience, be honest with yourself now so you’re not dealing with disappointment over your birth story for years to come.
What type of availability are you looking for from your practitioner? Not just office hours (do keep that in mind if you anticipate conflicts with your work schedule), but what about questions that may come up at night or on the weekend?
Do you already have a preference or bias towards/against a type of practitioner, midwife or obstetrician? If you feel strongly about not having a C-section unless absolutely necessary, or an episiotomy, ask for their C-section rate and episiotomy percentages.
Do you know the type of setting you want for your birth - hospital, birth center, home? Option to deliver in a bath tub (many hospitals offer this), or you know that’s not for you? If possible, look at websites or take tours to get a sense of what the environment has to offer you.
What’s your pain tolerance? Do you already know you’re going to want an epidural and/or drugs, or are you considering minimal interventions?
Is it important to you to see the same doctor at every appointment? Do you need to know the person who delivers the baby? Consider the size of the practice and their ability to really get to know each person.
How much personal modification do you expect in your care? Do you think you’ll need some accommodations? For example, a doctor who’s willing to deliver while you have a doula, or a doctor who is willing to allow you to deliver squatting, or a doctor who is willing to do a few standard appointments via telemedicine?
What do you expect from the office staff and the environment? Does it matter to you if you’re sitting around the waiting room for awhile - because the doctor is taking the time with another patient - or do you want a very strict schedule?
Does the practitioner have a good reputation? Lurk or post in a Facebook group, or ask for a recommendation. Ask girlfriends for the good/bad/ugly from their experience. Note - due to privacy concerns, usually an office can’t give you the name/phone number of another patient, but when you ask the question, you’ll get a good sense from how they respond.
With this information in mind, decide whether or not you want to find (or interview) a new option for your pregnancy care!
To do: Join (and lurk) in the Facebook groups
If you're on Facebook, you know that it has pros, cons, and plenty of crazy - however, it's actually a decent place to find local recommendations for things like doctors, hospitals, birthing centers, nanny/childcare options, kid-friendly restaurants, you name it. The only caveat I have before joining any group is to ensure the group is private (check your settings and the group settings), assuming you don't want people to see you joined the group before you're ready to discuss your pregnancy. You may also want to refrain from posting in the group until you've told your "Tier 1" and "Tier 2" just in an abundance of caution. Remember that Facebook isn’t anonymous, but there’s plenty you can glean from reading other women’s questions and the various responses!